What you feel is valid, maybe not now but in the process you will know.
I'm hoping for that time to you.
🩷
tanggapin ko nalang siguro na i am meant to be alone. no, and i didn’t say that out of self-pity.
aside from the fact na i don’t have sibs, and that i am living alone now, naisip ko na lahat ng mga taong may care sa akin noon genuinely, was living TOO far away from me. most of them if not all. my mom worked abroad since i was a little kid. then nagkaroon ako ng Dad figure kay Sir Dan and he somehow supported me nung 4th year college ako but he lives in the US.
now, both of my parents passed. si lola rin. my bestfriend moved to AU, tapos soon, si Eli na rin.
not to mention my close friends na living outside Pampanga.
also, i constantly get messages telling me how lucky I am to be able to live alone and independently. na at our age, all they wanna do is to move out and try living independently.
ako naman yung baligtad. ako naman yung gusto ng kasama ngayon. palagi ko gusto ng kasama ngayon or else tatamarin ako. pati sa pag kain. at nao-offend ako kapag may makaka-interpret pa noon and will tell me to live independently, na need ko masanay and all that.
the thing is, i’ve been doing that since God-knows-when.
palagi rin ako umaasa when someone promises me their date and time tapos biglang cancel. like, hello, sobra ako umaasa. haha. tapos ako rin yung G agad kasi tangina, parang sabik lang ako palagi sa kasama. ang tanga-tanga ko pa kasi ang saya-saya ko na sa simpleng oras.
but then again, i know i cannot expect and demand for that sa mga tao.
that’s why. i am really trying my best now na bumawi at aralin ulit mag isa. tanggapin ko nalang.
pati yang romantic relationship ata hindi na din para sa akin. ewan ko.
Ayaw ko na dito pero ayaw ko na rin bumalik sa amin.
“Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.”— C.G. Jung
Yes or No
Rules: Providing explanation is optional. Be honest.
1. Do you easily forgive people?
2. Have you ever felt like killing someone?
3. Do you trust people easily?
4. Do you have a dirty secret that no-one knows?
5. Are you scared to die?
6. Do you consider yourself a good person?
7. Have you ever made someone cry?
8. Do people usually get the wrong impression of you?
9. Do you consider yourself smart?
10. Are you happy with your life right now?
1. No. Because I also don’t easily get mad. So if I got mad, it will take a loooong time (to never) forgive that person.
2. Yes. Hahahaha.
3. Sadly, yes. But I’m now trying to work on that and not trust people that easy.
4. None.
5. Yes.
6. I honestly don’t know anymore.
7. Yes.
8. Hmm, sometimes.
9. Hmmm. I don’t know.
10. Not much.
So turns out…..you guys are not gonna believe this…….but it turns out. Reading real books. Is good for you actually.
Let me be completely clear - I’m not being a sarcastic ass. I’m just realizing all over again, in real time, for myself, that reading a real life published book makes your neurons feel like they’re getting a spa day. Like I can feel my brain getting juicer and wrinklier with every page I turn. This shit is no joke, this is like hard drugs if hard drugs were good for you and made your brain feel revived and alive.
(via thanat0ss)
I don’t wanna fall in love again. I don’t wanna lose myself like this ever again.
Gusto ko ng umalis. Gusto ko na tumakas sa sitwasyong ako rin naglagay sa sarili ko. Hindi ko na alam yung mararamdaman ko. Manhid na ako sa sakit pero sigurado akong ayaw ko na ng ganito.
sabi ko sisipagan ko na mag dress up EVERY TIME na lalabas ako. grabe, di ko talaga ma maintain. most of the time, mukha akong basahan eh. tas lagi pa kapag ganon, dun ako makakakita ng kakilala ko. hahaha. ewan. 🥲